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How to be Kinder to Yourself

When was the last time you were really hard on yourself? We’re talking, like, really really hard. Maybe you missed a deadline at work, or accidentally sent a text meant for your best friend to your boss. Whatever it is, we’ve all been there. And it sucks. Being hard on yourself does nothing but make you feel worse in the moment and can even lead to long-term damage. Here are some tips on how to be kinder to yourself.

We’ve all been there before. You mess up, big time. And instead of being understanding and compassionate with yourself, you go full-blown Mean Girls and give yourself a good talking to. “How could you be so stupid?” “What were you thinking?” “You always mess things up!” Sound familiar? If so, then it’s time for a change. It’s time to start being kinder to yourself. Trust us, it will make all the difference.

Tip #1: Talk to Yourself the Way You Would Talk to a Friend
This one might seem obvious, but it’s worth repeating nonetheless. When you make a mistake, talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend who had made the same mistake. Would you call them stupid? Probably not. Would you tell them they always mess things up? No way. So why do it to yourself? Be understanding and compassionate with yourself, just as you would be with a friend, and watch how much better you feel afterwards.

Tip #2: Practice Forgiveness
Forgiving yourself can be really tough, but it’s so important. If you don’t forgive yourself for your mistakes, then they will continue to haunt you long after they’ve happened. A great way to practice forgiveness is by writing down what you did wrong and then tearing up the paper or burning it (safely!). This physical act will help represent letting go of your mistake and moving on from it.

Tip #3: Learn from Your Mistakes
Instead of beating yourself up about your mistakes, try to learn from them instead. What can you do differently next time? How can you avoid making the same mistake again? Asking yourself these questions will help turn a negative experience into a positive one by helping you grow as a person. And isn’t that what we all want in life? To grow and learn as much as we can?

Next time you make a mistake, instead of going into Mean Girls mode, try out these tips instead and see how much better they make you feel. Be understanding and compassionate with yourself, just as you would be with a friend; practice forgiveness; and learn from your mistakes so that you can grow as a person. Your relationship with yourself is just as important as any other relationship in your life, so why not treat it as such?

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